So You Wanna Be In Showbiz?
david bradshawe
So You Wanna Be In Showbiz?
My agent called me and told me that she had got me an audition for the role of the romantic lead, Freddy Einsford-Hill, in a tour and consequent West End production of My Fair Lady. I was to audition at the Albery Theatre in the West End which at the time was presenting the Cameron Macintosh production of Oliver. I followed many handsome and tall leading men for this role in the waiting area and as I strode to the front of the stage I was met by Cameron Macintosh himself. I apologized immediately for my totally inappropriate casting nomination and instead of berating me was met by a total understanding and compassion. He asked me to sing and perform for him and I did so with energy and gusto. He was impressed. “What do you want to do in the business?” he asked. “I want to be a serious Classical actor and perform in Shakespeare”. He shook his head and said emphatically “No”. “You have a good voice and movement skills. You are made for Musical Theatre”. Surprised and humbled by this emphatic remark I thanked him and left the theatre full of the joys of Spring. He never rang back.
Upon returning to Princess Cruises after some years away I met new guest entertainers who later became good friends. One of them was comedian Dick Gold. Over the years Dick and his wife Pat became close friends and I enjoyed their company whenever we worked together. In my earnestness to do well with my “new” company I often closed a party, show and event with a short announcement about the evening’s entertainment. One particular event occurred on the same evening as a performance from Dick. I seized the moment to make my customary announcement to the assembled passengers about the evening’s performance and it went something like this. “Ladies and Gentlemen I’d like to invite you all to the intimate surroundings of the Adagio Piano Bar; after the show tonight comedian Dick Gold will be presenting his Mirth, Merriment and music cabaret starting from 9:30. So Ladies and Gentlemen a great intimate evening event in store where the word of the night will be “more and more”. So why not get intimate with Dick tonight in the Adagio Piano Bar”. To his great credit Dick never batted an eye-lid but my face was as bright as a belisha beacon!
I like this short story from the great Roy Hudd, ” I would have liked to have told you of playing Sir Andrew Aguecheek in Twelfth Night alongside two exciting, witty and knowledgeable Shakespearians, Edmund Bailey and Sidney Bromley. They had been together years before in Sir Ben Greet’s company. I found their explanations of what nearly every line in the play meant fascinating and very helpful. On the opening night, however, as we three, Andrew, Sir Toby and Fabian – bobbed up and down interpolating snappy one liners in the famous hedge scene, Sidney looked over the hedge and said, with great conviction, “Sontar will cry on it though be as rank as a fox!” followed by, for our ears only, “Whatever the **** that means!”
I was stopped by an Immigration Officer once going through New York. The friendly Officer with a broad Bronx accent asked me what I did for a living. “I’m a Cruise Director” I said. “You look familiar” he replied, “Are you sure you’re not an actor?” Surprised and feeling chuffed by this comment I told him I used to be an actor. He looked at me for what seemed an age before stamping my passport. “Mr Bradshawe let me tell you something: Once an actor, always an actor! You have a nice day”.
david bradshawe
So You Wanna Be In Showbiz?
I would have liked to have told you of playing Sir Andrew Aguecheek in Twelfth Night alongside two exciting, witty and knowledgeable Shakesperians, Edmund Bailey and Sidney Bromley. They had been together years before in Sir Ben Greet’s company. I found their explanations of what nearly every line in the play meant fascinating and very helpful. On the opening night, however, as we three, Andrew, Sir Toby and Fabian – bobbed up and down interpolating snappy one liners in the famous hedge scene, Sidney looked over the hedge and said, with great conviction, “Sontar will cry on it though be as rank as a fox!” followed by, for our ears only, “Whatever the **** that means!” – Roy Hudd.
This story dates to an earlier time of cruising but is still relevant today. Cruising, as someone once said to me, is all about people and personalities because we are all in the same boat! The joy of cruising is being able to meet new friends and old to be able to recall adventurous and joyful experiences.
The story is true and is set in the waters of the Mediterranean and in particular the sometimes choppy waters of Cannes. The ship was anchored just outside the dockside of Cannes and it was a beautiful morning when the majority of passengers arrived shore-side from the many tender boats taking them just outside the Film and Festival Theatre. The majority of passengers were taking official tours and a group of approximately 100 were due back in the afternoon.
As the day wore on however, the weather and seas began to be less kind and after supervising one particularly rough crossing back to the ship by tender boat, the Captain decided that the seas were too rough to remain anchored at their spot . He could not wait for the 100 passengers on the late tour, he would have to sail to a bay nearby and come back the next morning for the group and staff on that day long tour.
As the ship sailed off for the sheltered bay the group arrived at the dockside and frantically began jumping up and down trying somehow to attract their ship from sailing away. Radio contact between ship and the shore-side crew was taking place however and upon hearing the plan the leaders of the group told everyone that the ship couldn’t remain anchored but it would arrive first thing in the morning to pick them up and in the meantime the Captain had arranged hotel accommodation for the night and the drinks were on the Captain until 9 o’clock in the evening. Cheers and applause rang out from the stranded passengers and they all happily boarded the bus and sat eagerly awaiting a night out from the Captain. The bus duly arrived at a very nice but small hotel near to the dockside and the guests duly took up the Captain’s kind and generous invitation of free drinks until 9 o’clock.
At 9 o’clock the leaders of the group had an announcement to make and to a packed and merry audience told them all that the hotel had limited accommodation so all the women of the group would have to share rooms and all the men too. A stunned silence greeted this unexpected message but all the men and women parted and sat facing each other from opposite sides of the room. All except one couple! This married couple remained in the middle of the room. And the wife explained to the rest that she had been married for 45 years to this man and she had never slept on her own in all those years and she was not going to start now! As she told this story she tugged tightly on the arm of her husband and she was not letting go! Silence then turned into shouts from the men of the room for her husband to join them . The women on the opposite side then started to shout for them to stay until a chanting competition between both men and women imploded the bar area of the hotel. After 5 minutes of “Come on Cyril you can do it” from the men, the husband tore himself from his wife and to great cheers and merriment joined the men on their side of the room. His wife was understandably angry and furious as she then joined the women at their side of the room. Consolation and understanding then turned into anger as she stormed towards her husband on the opposite side of the room and said in a very loud voice “This would never have happened if we’d have gone to Cleethorpes!”
The moral of our tale therefore is always be prepared for anything and always raise a glass to the Captain because he will always take care of you!
David Bradshawe
Mr. Frederick Speaks
david bradshawe
So You Wanna Be In Showbiz?
I would have liked to have told you of playing Sir Andrew Aguecheek in Twelfth Night alongside two exciting, witty and knowledgeable Shakesperians, Edmund Bailey and Sidney Bromley. They had been together years before in Sir Ben Greet’s company. I found their explanations of what nearly every line in the play meant fascinating and very helpful. On the opening night, however, as we three, Andrew, Sir Toby and Fabian – bobbed up and down interpolating snappy one liners in the famous hedge scene, Sidney looked over the hedge and said, with great conviction, “Sontar will cry on it though be as rank as a fox!” followed by, for our ears only, “Whatever the **** that means!” – Roy Hudd.
This story dates to an earlier time of cruising but is still relevant today. Cruising, as someone once said to me, is all about people and personalities because we are all in the same boat! The joy of cruising is being able to meet new friends and old to be able to recall adventurous and joyful experiences.
The story is true and is set in the waters of the Mediterranean and in particular the sometimes choppy waters of Cannes. The ship was anchored just outside the dockside of Cannes and it was a beautiful morning when the majority of passengers arrived shore-side from the many tender boats taking them just outside the Film and Festival Theatre. The majority of passengers were taking official tours and a group of approximately 100 were due back in the afternoon.
As the day wore on however, the weather and seas began to be less kind and after supervising one particularly rough crossing back to the ship by tender boat, the Captain decided that the seas were too rough to remain anchored at their spot . He could not wait for the 100 passengers on the late tour, he would have to sail to a bay nearby and come back the next morning for the group and staff on that day long tour.
As the ship sailed off for the sheltered bay the group arrived at the dockside and frantically began jumping up and down trying somehow to attract their ship from sailing away. Radio contact between ship and the shore-side crew was taking place however and upon hearing the plan the leaders of the group told everyone that the ship couldn’t remain anchored but it would arrive first thing in the morning to pick them up and in the meantime the Captain had arranged hotel accommodation for the night and the drinks were on the Captain until 9 o’clock in the evening. Cheers and applause rang out from the stranded passengers and they all happily boarded the bus and sat eagerly awaiting a night out from the Captain. The bus duly arrived at a very nice but small hotel near to the dockside and the guests duly took up the Captain’s kind and generous invitation of free drinks until 9 o’clock.
At 9 o’clock the leaders of the group had an announcement to make and to a packed and merry audience told them all that the hotel had limited accommodation so all the women of the group would have to share rooms and all the men too. A stunned silence greeted this unexpected message but all the men and women parted and sat facing each other from opposite sides of the room. All except one couple! This married couple remained in the middle of the room. And the wife explained to the rest that she had been married for 45 years to this man and she had never slept on her own in all those years and she was not going to start now! As she told this story she tugged tightly on the arm of her husband and she was not letting go! Silence then turned into shouts from the men of the room for her husband to join them . The women on the opposite side then started to shout for them to stay until a chanting competition between both men and women imploded the bar area of the hotel. After 5 minutes of “Come on Cyril you can do it” from the men, the husband tore himself from his wife and to great cheers and merriment joined the men on their side of the room. His wife was understandably angry and furious as she then joined the women at their side of the room. Consolation and understanding then turned into anger as she stormed towards her husband on the opposite side of the room and said in a very loud voice “This would never have happened if we’d have gone to Cleethorpes!”
The moral of our tale therefore is always be prepared for anything and always raise a glass to the Captain because he will always take care of you!